i’ve faced many hurdles in my life. when i was a teenager i actually ran the hurdles in track and field. in case you don’t know me i am slightly taller than those hurdles. why i chose that particular race is beyond me. a glutton for punishment? i would post a pic of me jumping hurdles but it’s impossible to find one. i’m always on the ground ha ha.
i have plenty of scars to prove my struggle clearing hurdles. physically, and emotionally. and especially from infertility. those scars are hidden though, the ones on my belly that tell of life lost and tears spilt. they fade with time but i see them every day. the ones on my heart, though, don’t fade even though i can’t see them. i know this to be true when i’m faced with hurdles. terrified to take the next step. the scars burn as if they were fresh.
but not today my friends. not today. my first (of many) hurdles is initially bloodwork testing my HCG levels. in the majority of my pregnancies i have trouble even getting the HCG to rise appropriately (a sign of impending miscarriage). science says HCG should double every 2-3 days early on in pregnancy.
tuesday’s was 26.
i prayed for 75 today. i said to myself i would feel good with that. i didn’t want to settle for 52.
today was 94! i am so relieved!
so what is next? hurdle #2. another blood draw on Tuesday to make sure levels are rising appropriately. Once the HCG is high enough we should be able to address hurdle #3: is baby in my uterus or did it get lodged in my tube. i won’t even go down that road yet. that hurdle is a ways away. for now i will try to breathe. and enjoy being pregnant. and get to stretching so i can jump this next hurdle.