i’m just along for the ride

well that was fun.  one day off estrogen. ONE damn day off of it and BOOM. i have a lead horse already. one lousy day and everything goes to pot. i am so annoyed at my body. i can’t even get ready for infertility treatments properly.

magician shook his head in disbelief as we stared at the ultrasound screen.  even HE was annoyed at my body.

so where does that leave us?  i have a total of 5 follies. 3 of them are new. 1 of them is already 11mm. it was non-existent on monday’s exam. and here is it all braggadocious like, flexing it’s muscles in a too-tight t-shirt that reads “i’m here to f*ck sh*t up!”  well done sir, well done.

magician says let’s do super-ovulation IUI. major eye rolling happening. which means let’s inject some stimulation medication, see you on monday and we go from there. he is 99.999999% sure this will not be an IVF cycle. unless a miracle happens and that lead horse stops fractures its leg, allowing for the rest of the pack to catch up. which we know ain’t gonna happen.

he reminded me i have “proven fertility”. i hate that term. sure, i have proven that i can have a child. i have also proven that i can lose four times as many. oh and don’t forget that i have 1 tube now. i’m already behind the gun. and even that 1 tube looks awfully suspicious/narrowed/constricted. so i argue that “proven fertility” case. but it doesn’t change anything.

so i sighed. what else can i do? clearly my body has a mind of it’s own. i’m just along for the ride. now we wait and stab and watch… hopefully i’ll get a few mature follies forming to make this IUI worth a shot.

oh monday. please bring good news.

2 thoughts on “i’m just along for the ride

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